“Crown me or kill me.!” Those are the words that a pastor at a church I visited today uttered. This message was a much needed reminder, as it had been weeks since I was in church. I have not been in my church since my pastor said that the Bible doesn’t advocate for women being national leaders. Apparently a woman like Deborah, who was the fourth judge in Israel was an exception to the rule. In his school of thought, God intended for men to take leadership positions not women. This is a theology issue that churches have argued over for centuries. I have also been considering converting to Catholicism, but I digress.
This past weekend, I went to Philadelphia to visit my close friend from college and her family. They happen to be from Kenya as well, and are always striving to live by God’s principles. Every time I visit them, my faith is strengthened. At church this morning, the pastor quoted Revelation 3:15-16
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
Christians often quote the verses above. Most of us profess a love for our God, but our actions do not always align with our words. In other words, we preach water and drink wine. However, as humans it is nearly impossible to be either cold or hot. God’s grace redeems us everyday. I am often lukewarm because I struggle to entrust my life to God and His promises. While I am grateful to Him for the blessings in my life, I constantly worry about the dreams that I have not achieved. This in itself is being lukewarm as He tells us to not worry about anything but trust in Him. Moreover, I do not always consult Him in my decisions. Neither do I know how to discern His voice when He speaks to me.
Crown me or kill me was in reference to the fact that Jesus does not care about us liking Him. He either wants us to make Him the king of our lives or forget about Him altogether. In life as in Christianity, it is important to have defined opinions. If we are going to hold certain standpoints, we should strive to be on either one side or another. Being lukewarm is sign of a lack of commitment to being knowledgeable about the topic or principle in question.
In my search for career development, I have truly put God in the back banner. I have barely consulted Him in my decisions. In my ambition I forgot about His plan for me. Today, I was reminded that I needed to check myself. I needed to remember who I serve; the world or my God. Moving forward, as I interview for placement, I plan to consult Him more and ask that He places me where He wants me to be. I will also go back to church, not because I am obligated but because by being with other believers, I am strengthened.